Ruining Eyes
by Tides of Gray
Summary: "The first time he saw those eyes, he was ruined. Ruined for everything and anything." Vignette oneshot. Sev/Lily


**Kind of random, but I decided I needed to do something about this idea nagging my head. Rather short and kind of rant-y though...hmmmm...**

**Disclaimer: Sorry, but Harry Potter ain't mine.**

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Ruining Eyes

The first time he saw those eyes, he was ruined. Ruined for everything and anything.

Severus had been out for a walk – anything to get away from his parents. His father had been throwing his glassy gin bottles again. They had shattered into a million pieces against the walls. Some of the shards had caught in his mother's skin. He had heard the howls of pain, the tears; he had saw the blood and the sweat and the shattered glass on the dirty floor...

Severus had run out of the door before he could become damaged.

He walked towards the park he usually went to for peace and solitude. Spinner's End housed no such park – it was in Weaver's Hill, the neighbouring, much less dingy suburb. The suburb in which the loving families lived in, the suburb with the nice houses and the clean children.

The park was shrouded beneath tall dark trees, and Severus felt comfortable there, sitting against the trees reading books or contemplating life. He felt bookish and had taken a book with him this time – The Beginner's Guide to Potions.

He reached the park, and saw the familiar trees. The glimpse of Muggle play equipment sparkled through the trunks. He let a small rare smile show, as he quickened his pace.

He walked down the dirt path through the tall trees, and looked for his usual spot. As he looked, he noticed that there was another being besides him in the park.

Instinctively, he hid. One could almost say that he feared adults. After what his father had done to his mother and himself, Severus was wary of authority.

He found an ideal spot behind a tree, whose trunk had mutated to form a small knot hole caused by the spreading and then intertwining of the trunk which had split into two. He peeped through the hole, to examine the other being.

It was a young girl. She was very pretty, with long red hair tinted with a slight gold by the sun which slanted through the mini-canopy formed by the surrounding trees. Severus felt something awakened inside him as he watched her. Something quintessentially childish but deep as roots, something that would blossom and bear bitter fruit if not tended.

She was sitting in a pile of leaves, a delicate smile in her face. She lifted up a leaf and blew gently at it. The leaf floated in the air, before dropping at an abnormal pace.

At this, she smiled widely. She picked up a handful of leaves and threw them into the air. They all dropped slowly, swirling around the girl's head in a veil, before falling to the ground.

Severus was transfixed. This girl was a witch, and from her ignorance, it seemed as if she was muggle-born. The prejudices echoed in his head, but he shut them out. All he had eyes for was her.

And then she turned her gaze towards the knot-hole from which Severus was peeping, and he caught sight of her lovely green eyes.

When he saw those eyes, his world dimmed. The slight hunger which had been awakened due to her presence increased.

In those eyes, he saw her innocence and her love, her laughter and her sadness. He watched them, transfixed.

The girl walked towards his hiding place, a curious but innocently trusting expression on her face. Severus found that he could not break his black eyes from her green eyes. He felt paralysed, the world revolved around her and only her, she with the red-laced-with-leaves-hair and the green eyes wearing the summer dress.

At last, he came to his senses, and he ran, his face inflamed in a rare red. He turned back briefly, and saw her, with her long red hair, gazing around, a confused expression on her beautiful face.

He was coming back.

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The last time he saw those eyes, he was saved.

As he felt his life drain from him, as he felt the numbness spreading up his body like a tidal wave, he held her son's gaze with all the willpower left in his frail shell of a body.

He forced his memories to gush out – memories of everything he had done for Lily. The only entities that remained in his meagre possession that he valued.

Someone had to know.

As he gazed into Harry's eyes, the boy's hair and facial features seemed to blur and fade. James Potter disappeared from Harry, and all Severus could see was Lily, Lily kneeling over him with her beautiful green eyes and a kind smile. All he could see were the eyes that had ruined him.

And it was as if he was in the park again, staring through the knotted tree at her. His body was truly paralysed now, yet he wasn't scared. The eyes were swimming towards him, the irises with compassion and hurt and what he desperately wanted for eternity. Lily's love.

All the pain and feeling had numbed.

"Come with me, Sev."

The hunger which she had awakened in him began to spread rapidly around his body, and he felt warm. He felt his eyes dim, the light fade, yet he could see Lily, Lily smiling and laughing and hugging him and whispering to him her secrets and Lily holding his hand and gazing at him with her ruining green eyes

forever.


End file.
